The Bus People

In a bus depot in deepest, darkest central Bristol, two passengers huddle miserably over a cup of diesel from the coffee bar, oblivious to the confused crowds that surround them. They have endured a hazardous journey, a journey where hope turns to despair, a journey where boys become men - a journey on a Bristol 'Cityline Dart'. They are only two of the many bewildered 'Buspeople', and they have agreed to give us their story.

"It was awful", whispered Mrs Gladys Over (37), "The waiting, oh God…the waiting, it was interminable!"

"But there was worse to come", added Mr Ivor Breakdown (45), "Once we'd boarded we were packed, standing, down the middle of the bus and had no idea where we were when our journey was underway, because the windows were all steamed up, and the view to the front was blocked due to more and more people embarking".

"Yes", agreed a tearful Mrs Over, "There were many of us all in the same boat, people were falling over each other to get off, the people standing up were falling on the people sitting down, and everyone was being stabbed with umbrellas, assaulted with heavy shopping bags with sharp pointed corners and, oh God, all kinds of things…" she finished hysterically, "It was dreadful!"

Our investigations reveal that while some consider themselves ripped off when paying around £1.20 for a single ticket, incredibly many more are being urged to 'trade in their cars' to travel in this fashion.

The driver of the vehicle refused to comment, but a company spokesperson told our reporter "We are aware of a few minor problems, and are streamlining our fleet to enable a 1:1 driver/passenger ratio". He confidently predicts the arrival of the Cityline tandem early next year.

When asked for their observations on this statement, both Mrs Over and Mr Breakdown replied "On yer bike, Cityline"

Advantages - City Darts? Well…they're compact….

Disadvantages - Infrequent, crowded and unreliable.